Telekenetic Assassination Attempts and Accidental Deforestation


The Russell Crow lookalike above is Yiğit Bulut, Erdogan’s new chief advisor and former political journalist. Bulut was promoted recently after he announced that foreign powers were plotting to assassinate Erdogan via telekinesis, or the ability to move objects with the power of the mind alone (like Roald Dahl’s Matilda). I like to imagine that the photo above was taken as Bulut was in the process of explaining, step by step, how the telekinetic assassins would carry out their dastardly plans.

Construction work on the controversial third Bosphorus bridge has been suspended because it was happening in the wrong place. Thousands of trees had already been cut down when authorities realised their mistake and now, thousands more trees must be destroyed in the right place. Cynics are expecting the announcement of a new mall (or perhaps an Ottoman barracks?) to be built in the recently deforested construction spot.

The Taksim machete wielder from last week is in Morocco. After the public outcry at his release, a new arrest warrant was issued, but he had already providently left the country. At one point, it looked like he was actually going to be compensated by the state because he turned out to be one of the shop owners whose business had been adversely affected by the protests. At any rate, he can be neither compensated nor imprisoned now.

On a sombre note, the funeral of Ali Ismail Korkmaz, the most recent death resulting from the protests, was held in his hometown of Antakya, on the Syrian border. It was followed by a protest, attended by thousands of people, that was suppressed by police in their traditional manner.